The Devil Repents

It was a lazy morning up in heaven
Around about twenty past eleven
An angel came to God’s right hand
Said “Don’t ask me why ’cause I don’t understand
But the Devil’s just come to the door
Says he doesn’t want to be evil anymore”.

Now there’s no need for the end of days
There’s no need for a holy blaze
Let the people of the world rejoice
Go out and make a joyful noise
Everything’s going to be OK
Because the Devil did repent today.

Flitting back two thousand years
Jesus knew his time was near
As he wandered strangely casually
In the garden of Gethsemane
But Judas had a change of heart
He didn’t want to play his part
Instead of kissing Jesus as he neared
He told those soldiers to kiss his rear

Now there’s no need for Christ to die
No need for Him to be crucified
No need for a resurrection
No need for a new direction
Cancel the communion call
It wasn’t the last supper after all
The Son Of Man is living still
‘Cause Judas Escariot did alright this time

Way back at the very start
In the secret garden’s heart
A lady talking to a snake
Said, “No thanks. This just feels fake”.

Now there’s no need for the fall of man
There’s no need for a masterplan
There’s no need for will to be free
No need for humanity
No need for nephilm, judges, kings
Not much need for anything
No flaming sword, no flood, no war
Just happy gardeners for evermore

So God stood up and went outside
And there was Satan, arms out wide
“It’s true”, he said, “I’ve seen the light
There’s no need for us to fight”.
God looked the Devil up and down
He thought about it with a frown
Then across his face their came a smirk
“Very funny”, he said, “Get back to work!”


This is one of those pieces that everyone gets to misunderstand in their own particular way.¬† The best way I can describe it is as a comment on the need for figures to occupy villainous roles, in similar vein to the Rolling Stones ‘Sympathy For The Devil’, the Gnostic Gospel of Judas and the mediaeval song¬† ‘Adam Lay Y Bounden’.